FI FI FO FUM

Fine I got a good (err make that ‘sexy’) percentage in my boards, BUT puhlease, that’s supposed to invite rewards not suffering.

Venue: A ‘shaadi’ or some weird family function which us Indians always love to hold. First, the expected clichés, for which I had come prepared for were thrown at me- You’re looking so mature- just like PAPA! (not bada ho gaya hai- dat stopped a year ago) you do recognize me naa beta (stupid adult laugh and BLECH! Slobbery kiss). I somehow survived, mumbling something.

Next up, HOooooooo beta, tumne to kamal hi kar diya. I say thank you. 96.4%, Kya baat hai!!! A polite smile. Everybody is soooo proud (for crying out loud, thank you). This is soooo good!! (well I’ll be damned) I manage to squeal a thank you, gritting my teeth. The end Is nowhere in sight. Tumne to hamari family ka naam uncha kar diya(utha le bhagwaan!!) Fantastic beta, your……. (Here, I break off, smiling all the time, mumbling pleasantries- not catching the rest) Suddenly, a huge bear hug is all around me (entirely welcome, u’ll see) and eeyech! Another slobbery kiss (not welcome).

Now, surely you haven’t forgotten this was ONE person. There’s an entire battalion of ‘em yearning to eke out my soul. The ignominy shall go on. Smile, continue to take the endless charade of questions. Can anybody suggest what one can do other than smile and say thank you (wisecracks are welcome- I could use a laugh or too).

I know a lot of people will be saying- “what a family! Sheeh! And ughhh!” so read on.

I have heard of some people who have fights inside their family, some gale-shikve.

And I’m very surprised that my family doesn’t. My granddad had 13 brothers and sisters and goodness knows how many cousins that meant for my dad- but I tell you I have not come across any family as nice as mine. None from here will think twice if you ask for their help. We all care for each other and we like to show it whenever possible. So the hug I spoke of earlier was so warm and affectionate that instantly, I could feel nothing but happiness (jaadu ki Jhappi isn’t fiction). When I sit and listen to my grandmother about old times (don’t you?), many times I hear- your granddad did this for this one, he did that for that one and I’m just amazed- the love just goes beyond all expectation and its not reserved. By the way, he’s not the only one. Like I said the large plethora of Rastogis and other relatives are all the greatest, genuinely caring (you can easily make out) beings to descend on the face of the earth. someday, i'll become that too. I LOVE BEING A RASTOGI. Screw the Littles’ and the Flintstones’, WHO DA FAMILY!!!